C

cabbage - sometimes used as an offensive or playful term for someone a bit slow or foolish.

cabbaged - used for tired or stoned - eg. "I feel totally cabbaged". Can also be used for drunk.

cack - faeces, rubbish. eg "What a load of old cack you talk sometimes !".

cakehole - mouth. eg "Shove that in your cakehole !", "shut your cakehole !".

caned - drunk or stoned. A popular 90's term.

carpet muncher - lesbian. From the likeness (?) of a woman's pubic hair to a bit of carpet. Also 'rug muncher'.

char / cha - tea. From Chinese cha. eg. "Oooh I'd luv a cup'a char".

Chalfont St Giles - - Modern Rhyming Slang, usually shortened to 'Chalfont's' meaning 'piles' (haemorrhoids). Chalfont St Giles is a town to the north west of London.

Chang - meaning 'Charlie Chang' which in turn is a long form of Charlie, slang for cocaine.

Charlie - widely used slang for cocaine. Sometimes also heard as 'Charles'.

(a right) Charlie - short for 'Charlie Ronce' - Rhyming Slang for 'ponce'. Normally used in the form 'a right Charlie'. The meaning for 'ponce' can vary from a dodgy character or idiot or for a homosexual.

Chas'n'Dave - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shave'.

Chelsea smile - the scar you get when you have been cut ear to ear is known as a Chelsea smile. I think this term comes from the criminal underworld of the 60's, a la Kray era.

chestnut - an old and predictable joke or situation. The phrase dates from the late 19th century and is thought to have originated from a scene in a play called 'Broken Sword' by W Diamond. The usual way that the term is used is in the phrase "not that old chestnut !".

chief - general respectful term used to address a man. It can be used to address a superior. More recently it can be used as an insult where calling someone 'chief' is indicating they are a 'bit of a knob'. Also see guv'nor.

china - Rhyming Slang, short for 'China plate','mate'. Used as a general term to address someone you are at least a bit familiar with. Usually prefixed by 'me old'. eg. "Awright me old china !".

chinky - Chinese takeaway or person. eg. "shall we go over the chinky ?" (shall we take a visit to the Chinese takeaway ?).

chip - to leave. e.g. "I've gotta chip, catch you later".

chippy/chippie - slang term for a fish and chip shop and also for a carpenter.

choked - very disappointed or overcome with emotion

choke/choking the chicken - term for male masturbation.

chopper - slang for penis and also a 1970's popular English bicycle with a banana seat, now a cult classic

chronic - terrible, extreme. e.g. "I've got chronic headache".

chuck your/my muck - vulgar term used to describe the male orgasm. eg. "I was just about to chuck my muck and the phone rang".

chuffed - very happy, delighted. eg. "I'm really chuffed with that".

chug nuts - slang term for faeces stuck to body hair around the anus (who thinks these up ?!).

chunder - to be sick (vomit). Of Australian origin. Two ideas of its origin are i) taken from a cartoon character 'Chunder Loo' taken as Rhyming Slang for 'spew'. ii) from the ships used for convict transportation to Australia where the cons who were higher up in the ship used to shout "watch under !" before they vomited from sea sickness. (Thanks to Paul Sigerson 'dahn undah').

chutney ferret - slang term for a gay man.

ciggy - slang for cigarette.

Claire Rayner's - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'trainers' (running shoes).

clap - venereal disease - from Old French 'clapoir' meaning 'venereal bubo'. Often preceded by "a dose of the".

claret - slang for blood. eg "There was a right ding-dong dahn the boozer last night, claret all over the place !".

clobber - clothes, kit. eg. "I've gotta go shopping for some new clobber".

(to) clock - to notice / see / look at.

clump - to hit, usually punch. A term often used by a bit of a rough geezer, i.e. "I'll come over there and clump you if your not careful !".

cobblers - Rhyming Slang, short for 'cobblers awls', 'balls'. Used as a general swear word much in the way 'balls' is. eg. "That's a right load of old cobblers" or as a one word disagreement "Cobblers !". Also used for testicles.

cock - a general term for a man. Derives from the term 'cock-sparrow' and has been used for at least three hundred years. A common phrase heard is "wotcher cock !" meaning 'hello mate'. Also the term is very much used as a word for 'penis'.

cock and bull story - a rubbish story, nonsense.

cocksucker - derogatory slang term used in many countries, probably American origin.

(to) cop hold - to take hold of, to look at. Also 'cop a feel' to grope someone sexually.

(to) cop it - to die, to get into trouble.

(to) cop off - to make an excuse to avoid something, also used to mean to 'get off' with someone sexually.

(to) cop out - to 'chicken' out of something or retire early due to laziness, go back on a promise.

cop-shop - police station.

copper - policeman. Derives from the word 'cop', to catch.

craic - something that is 'a laugh' eg. "It'll be a right craic". Of Irish origin.

cream your pants / knickers - an expression used to describe an excited or enthusiastic reaction (ie. orgasm). eg. "I bet if you saw his new car you'd cream your pants !".

crikey - an expression of astonishment. Corruption of 'Christ'.

(to come a) cropper - to fail badly or fall foul of something / someone. eg "You'll come a cropper if you mess with me mate".

crust - money / wage. To 'earn ones crust'. Probably from bread, 'bread & honey' - money.

cunt - the vagina.
I have left many of the really obvious slang swear words off of the site to save some time but I feel the inclusion of arguably the 'strongest' word in the English language is necessary. The word can be used to describe a woman's sexual organs, and is very much disliked by nearly all women. This dislike probably stems from the aggressive sound of the word which conjures up a nasty image of the vagina rather than one of a sweet smelling tidy body part like 'quim' or 'muff'. It has been said that the aggressive way in which men use the word is related to vaginal fear, I leave you to make your own mind up there ! The word is mostly used as a derogatory term for someone who you have extreme dislike i.e. "He's a total cunt !" and sometimes more playfully in male company where it's harsh meaning is somewhat watered down i.e. "Don't be a cunt John". All in all it's the one remaining taboo word in the English language today. You never read it in newspapers or hear it on TV (except in the Monty Python 'Travel Agent' sketch where it is masked slightly, "what a silly bunt !") and it's appearance in film is largely confined to the past ten years. How long the 'C word' remains taboo will be interesting to see.

cunted - a 90's term for very drunk. e.g. "I was so cunted last night I can't even remember how I got home".

cunting - an intense term of derision, much like buggering or fucking. i.e. "Cunting bloody arse ! I can't believe we lost !".

cushy - easy, "a right cushy number". Also from Hindustani 'khush'. See below.

cushty - (also kushty) general word meaning everything is fine or that something has been resolved. From Hindustani 'khush' meaning 'pleasant'.